koolhead17
We all carry distinct faces, which we bring out in different scenarios or with people we are dealing with. As a son, we act differently with our close friend’s circle. We are different from a uniqueness when we are with our lover than in a formal setup.
Sometimes in the journey, we get at loggerheads with society. The conflict arises when all these faces intermingle, which happens most of the time. Very few of us can stay rational and virtuous to manage them by keeping it all in a separate box.
How will we know the depth of the river? By measuring it. How are we going to measure it if not by swimming in it? A painful journey will lead to the destination. Every piece of advice, book, or teaching will have a limited influence on our life if we are not living in the moment and traveling in it.
Most of us give up on life without even trying. As a result, the guilt keeps biting them till their death bed. What could have and not in the past keeps eating their present.
We seek external validation and advice, which does no good. We get lost because we are not taking the journey but leaving it there.
Most of us die of regrets and not taking the path less traveled. We create imaginary obstacles in our way.
Who are we?
What do we want and don’t want?
Are we living our life or the one told us by our parent’s society or education system?
Are we just living our life for the heck of it?
During a conversation with my grandparents, I heard him saying what else he could have done better for himself and his kids.
I asked why he felt so.
He answered that as he aged, he had more time for introspection.
He advised me to do whatever I like diligently and not care what others or society thinks.
It has stayed with me so far.
My sanity, the company of great friends avoiding assholes come top of the list.
It has resulted in losing a few relationships and business propositions as well.
I have no regrets.
I will die in peace.
We are working too hard to reach our goal.
We obsess with the outcome leaving the grader picture.
The author of Man’s Search for Meaning and holocaust survivor Viktor E. Frankl has coined it hyperintention.
You are too obsessed with making money and getting rich.
It has taken a toll on your mind and body.
Even after accumulating all the wealth, you cannot enjoy it because cancer will kill you in a few years.
You want to lose weight.
You are obsessed with your looks.
As a result, you are trying all kinds of foods and drinks, resulting in your liver going nuts. The quick outcome kills you softly.
Somedays, my brain gets into introspection mode.
It will ask a few questions and leave me there.
It feels like a hanging.
These moments become tough on me as I enter into self-critique mode:
It is me.
I am responsible.
It was my mistake mode.
In these times, rationality, stoicism & all the learnings get into the warzone.
It’s me fighting with myself.
It’s overall stress on the downside. Like a headless chicken brain acts stupid, moments like these make me realize that we are humans and that negative emotions can ruin good moments of life.
It also makes me realize how imperfect I am.
Stop being emotional. It’s a vice and showstopper in success. My friends tell me time and again to me. I feel they have lived or met enough in their world that has made them conclude all this.
I see a different world, and the world has a place for emotions. We are still humans. Can we involve ourselves in a cause or relationship without emotion? I see emotions defining actions that can have dual impacts, good or bad. We can always learn and improve. But by living a life like a machine with dead emotions, the world around us would look like a machine, and we are just an operator.
Empathy is the new poster boy in the market.
I see people talking about it and then treating their maids and drivers like trash. They are the same influencers and thought leaders telling you to kill your emotions.
Has it occurred to you that you are absolutely restless about the outcome? The quest of knowing the result makes you work hard or distract you. Would pro athletes or mountaineers go through the same?
How can we overcome this restlessness: walking on the journey, being in the moment? Is it easier said than done?
Why does our monkey mind craves so much for the end result instead of enjoying the journey?
Are we humans greedy? Is our pain the byproduct of expectation and the quest for outcome making us mad?
Haruki Murakami speaks about his audience in “Novelist as a Vocation.” He writes for himself first. I liked this honesty. If your creative fuel depends on an audience, how is it creative and not some work?
Most lost artists of the past created music, art, or literature for themselves then the world took notice. We can name them Dostoevsky, Kafka, or Van Gogh. They lived and shared their thoughts in stories and art.
Haruki Murakami speaks about his writing practice and creating content buckets in “Novelist as a Vocation.” The idea strikes a chord with me. Unlike him, I add audio notes or write notes on my mobile.
When you have a bucket of content, you know what part of the story will go where. In my case, it has been short stories, poems, and random thoughts.
I loved knowing that for writing, he had to spend hours every day and jazz music and coffee working for him and writing a minimum of ten pages.
He also talks about revisions in which he leaves content for a week doing nothing before further edits. He repeats the process a few times before his wife gets a copy of it for user feedback.
This process of adding stories to a bucket and then writing,re-writing, leaving it for a week, and coming back makes me realize writing is not for everyone.
Time has changed since I graduated. We would do one or two internships and contribute to open-source projects. In the last year, we have been actively looking for interns. I am witnessing a pattern where most folks want three months of paid internship. Some are in 4 sem having 4-5 internship experience in their CVs.
I am limiting this post to a tech/engineering background. But what will you be learning and contributing in three months? Is the internship about adding company names to the CV?
I am yet to understand the motive behind adding internships. Learning is a gradual process. It takes time to master. Staying focused on one thing and finishing college would be of better use than running for a new company’s internship.
It is easy to compare others and run the FOMO. But attaining that ultimate skill requires grit, time, and patience.