Fear

There is an innate desire in us to be famous, create a masterpiece, or amass wealth. Each one of us feels we are living for a purpose. When things don’t happen the way we want them to, we feel sad — and in some cases, even fearful.

Imagine not finding a partner in life after multiple failed relationships. Or failing to build a successful startup after several unsuccessful attempts. All of this adds to our insecurity, makes us weaker, and pushes the subconscious mind to question everything in the opposite direction. As a result, even when we are with a new partner or our current startup is doing well, we are scared that everything might fall apart.

The fear engulfs us in negativity. It kills the joy of living.

writing

For the last many months, my regular everyday writing has taken a toll. The reason could be multifactorial. One being that the thoughts are no longer coming which were converted into posts.

Some calls in writer’s block. I am hopeful of getting over it soon.

There are many other important things(mostly professional) that are taking away a good amount of thinking. We have great things coming up in the next 3 months.

pages

Our life is a book, and every chapter has a page dedicated to it. The journey of life has many curves, which make it worth living. The more we live, the more we accumulate memories to add to the book of life.

Not everything that happens to us is in our control. How we react to it defines us and shapes us. Your first breakup, failing at your dream job, and similar experiences make you more resilient over time. These chapters make you more sober and empathetic toward your perspective of the world and life.

The modern world and its teachings are all about winning and living high on dopamine. While that may seem great in the short run, it often makes you unhappy in the long run.

Try to live a life with pages worth accumulating for your memory. As you grow older, you will mostly live with your book—turning its pages every day, reading the chapters of your life.

Dependable

In any organization with 100 team members working simultaneously on many dozen clients. There is a healthy mix of staff with different skill sets. One part that ensures things get done smoothly is the number of dependable folks. In short, people who own things and deliver.

One of the biggest reasons why some companies thrive in building and delivering products, while others fail, is their team, which includes dependent team members.

The whole irony of a 10X engineer and pedigree is that they will be in their own zone, world, forgetting what the overall company’s vision and direction is.

When shit falls, everything comes to a halt, and the reason is the team hired; they could not deliver, or, in short, are not dependable.

Grandma

I was at my gaon (village) last evening. I visit it every time I’m in Sitamarhi to see my parents. I feel calmer there. We have a house where no one lives now. Our grandparents are no more, but our cousins and uncles still live nearby.

Walking inside the house still feels the same as in the old days — when Grandma would make aloo parathas or offer me mangoes (saved just for me) from our bambiya/maldah tree in the angan. None of that exists anymore.

We take everything for granted — only to realize, with time, that we’re fading too. We’re getting closer to death. One of my biggest regrets has been not visiting my grandparents more often; they passed away too soon. I know I was their favorite among all the cousins. 🙂

The bazaar, school, and river have all changed with time. There isn’t much water left in the river, and people no longer swim there. The village school now goes up to class 12. The bazaar still has things to buy and eat, but it feels different.

There still exists a lingering silence within me. I often find myself daydreaming — imagining Grandma around me, talking, smiling, and feeling proud. I feel like the same naughty kid again, being stubborn about what I want to eat and watching the menu change (thanks to Grandma).

Some photos I took on the way and at home.

Calm

There is a different feeling when you are waking up with no calendar schedules or meetings. On top of this, you are fed with your favorite dishes by none other than your mother, and I am overeating. For your parents, you are always a kid; you can digest anything and consume in abundance.

The calm all around is making me spend most of my time sleeping. I can write some short stories too. The creativity blocker is gone.

It’s fascinating to witness how the city has overgrown; most of the fields we would clean to make our cricket pitch are gone. It has residents living in brick-built houses.

I see the innovation taking shape everywhere. The E-riksaws have overtaken the city streets. The Tanga Gaadi and human rickshaws are almost nil.

With time, the city is catching up to modernization.

The temples are not left behind either. The election campaign is in full form.

slow

The last two to three days have made me more humble. I am back to my roots, my village. From the noise in the metros, the race to be someone in another world exists. Out here in the other part of the world, our lives are slow. For many, growing up in the metro will find this very boring.

As a small-town boy myself, I feel at home. I can hear temple prayers, azaan at the same time, laugh with the milkman, vegetable vendors, and house help who have been at home helping parents for all these years. The Bakshish with laddu boxes is distributed.

I went on a walk around this morning and could feel the cold, the shops either disappearing or being rebuilt. I enquired about our team shop uncle, who would offer us chairs at the bus stop while headed to school. His shop has moved to the next lane, and I will hopefully meet him.

The holiday mood is all around: diya, decoration, and sweet shops are all lit. The city has modernized a bit, too, with malls, pizza shops, and other luxury brands coming up.

In short, life is slow here. It feels calmer than the routine rush.

Morning runs.

Suffering

Are our sufferings more to do with how we see our lives? The way we respond to challenges coming our way? We build a castle of thoughts from inside, we make our own judgment without seeing situations as they are. Or could it be that our expectations are so that we end up feeling unfulfilled?

Life gives us lemons to make lemonade. Don’t cry, why only lemon, not oranges?

Those who suffer and the ones who succeed have one difference: their outward view, how they respond to the challenges.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. — Murakami

If we decide to make up our minds, seeing things in a positive way, the world around us will become magnificent.

Hallen Keller, Steven Hawking, and many others contributed to the world; they did not suffer.

ship

As a founder, you have the authority to run the ship as its captain. All other sailors and crew members are at your disposal. The ship has to sail, land, and operate. The crew may change for various reasons, but you must ensure that the engine is always running, the crew is performing at its peak, and every part of the system is working as intended.

The only constant is the ship’s voyage and the well-defined instructions set by the captain. Everything else is ephemeral.

Listen

There is no harm in being passionate and opinionated during interactions. But you do need to apply the virtue of listening. It cannot be an extempore. Our life is small. A few are surrounding us who care for us.

To grow in life or profession, we require understanding all sides of the world. It requires being genuine and interested in finding a solution.