We are all born narcissists. Some a little while others a lot. Our desire is to be loved and listened to. Some get angry, pensive when in a group, family, relationship others start getting all the focus and importance.
On the scale of narcissism, one does the destruction. If you are or people are you are above the threshold, you or your organization is screwed. As an employee, team member, or partner, you have a tough life ahead.
The world is not a utopia and, an organization runs with a group of people. We all have our own opinions, beliefs. We work together for the greater good: the success of the organization.
It means we will be keeping our differences, sail through, and progress. It is like a strong opinion weakly held. We should not demonize anyone for their differences but look for the greater good. Our differences do not make others get less of our respect. Our differences are because of our way of seeing the world.
I keep hearing and sometimes argue over specifications, be it a product or design. We have their specific standards or best practices defined. For first-time users and emerging demography, these standards might not hold.
I believe in minimalism (thanks to AB & minio) and the “don’t make me think” paradigm. At times we have to move beyond these philosophies or standards and keep user empathy on top.
Vikas was eight years old when his father passed away in a road accident. Born in a lower-middle-class family with no income, his mother ended up working at houses in a nearby colony as a cleaner. She worked hard and, Vikas continued studying at the English medium school. He was among the class toppers. Poverty did not defeat his aspirations or desire for a better life.
Vikas made the best of everything and, his mother was the world for him. They had no one else to look after. That is the price one pays after inter-caste marriage: either you are poisoned, beaten to death, or forgotten by the parents.
It was the last week of August when Monsoon was at its peak before departure. The non-stop rain lasted for over a week. Most had the luxury to stay at home but not Vikas’s mother. She had to go clean houses for those malkins(housewives). It resulted in mild fever and cough. As time progressed, it ended up being severe. With the limited knowledge and money Vikas had, the nearby drugstore near his home was the best he could afford. His mother’s condition kept falling before she took her last breath.
It was all the malkins(housewives) who helped him with the last rites. Time flew from day to week to month but, the loss of a mother continued: Vikas was an orphan and restored to weed and alcohol consumption.
One night at the chai shop, he met half a dozen sadhus, The ascetic members of our society. They were headed back to Mathura. It was the conversation or aura; Vikas packed his back and joined in their journey, leaving the worldly pleasures.
Vikas is mahant now at a matha in Mathura. It took him 12 years. He wanted to become a doctor and serve the poor, but the future had some other plans for him.
Why are we so stressed and less in confidence? Is it because of the treadmill of consumerism? Or is it because we are living in a divided world. The world where there is no equality or level playing field?
We can see this in a city itself, one part has no water, electricity and living in past while other is competing with silicon valley. Whose fault or luck is it to be born in a wealthy or poor? Does it not define the journey of life?
When it is all about survival, how will one think about happiness or confidence? The way our county moving, we will see and hear more and more of this occurrence.
Our media likes to portray rags to rich stories and limelight about the level playing field.
But can we not be stressed or lack confidence? I would say we can, only if we know what we don’t want and learn to say No.
Do we not own our actions? Why do we have to blame others for our failures and success all through ourselves? Why can’t we accept our mistakes and learn from them? Is it more to do with our ego?
These are some simple thoughts added after reading: think again by Adam Grant.
- Establish your identity as you are.
- Get out of your limited bubble, see the world from every perspective.
- Know your circle of competence and avoid falling for Dunning-Kruger.
- Being wrong is not a vice, but not acknowledging and improving is.
- Seek out: the entire world has something or the other to teach you.
- Be a good listener.
- Negotiation happens on common ground.
- A best practice is a corporate wall.
- Spend time with yourself.
- See things as they are without attaching yourself or keeping a bias.
I was with a few friends over dinner last night. We all were talking about subjects from work-life balance to managing a team. One thing was common: everyone has gone through the battle and has a scar.
Life is not easy for anyone: be it an employee, founder, or investor. We are all fighting our own battles. It is the beauty of Capitalism. Either you play hard or go home.
In the end, the choice is ours.
We can see the glass as half full or half empty. You have to pick your side.
Sometimes I wonder if we are living my own life. It is like enabling someone else checklist. It is like running fast and, it seems there is no end to it.
Is this how we humans live? Is consumerism or it is society? Or is it we who is responsible for this?
Are you living for fulfilling parents/wife/husband/kids or societal checklist or living your life?
Most of us die asking, thinking over these questions to ourselves:
What is the purpose of life?
Why am I here?
And then the ultimate question:
Who am I?
I finished reading Adam Grant’s: Think Again. The book talks about the power of learning by unlearning, shedding our biases, and seeing people, the world around us more objectively.
We live in a society, spend time with people who agree with our view. It is like living in a walled garden with limited knowledge and groupthink.
Once we see the world as it is. When we question ourselves and our ideologies, we become more aware.
I have been unlearning, debunking some myth about my learning. I have also noticed, reading can be the best aid. It helps with unlearning, rethinking, and making us question more about everything in our life.
Are eating fruits healthy for us?
The modernization of Europe, building castles: who financed it?
Are financial bubbles bad for civilization in the long run?
Is nationalism has anything to do with religion?
These were some questions whose answers I thought I already knew. I got busted, as all my beliefs were wrong. 🙂
Our progress depends on how much we learn, progress, curiosity, and unlearning.