We humans are strange, almost crazy beings.
We believe we control our lives. We believe everything is in our hands, that we decide our own fate. We take pride in saying that we are self-made: that whatever we are today is because of our own hard work and choices.
But if we think deeply, is that really true?
In reality, so much of who we are is gifted to us. Given to us. Handed over by something above us: call it God, fate, the universe, nature, or even some unknown force. Whatever it is, it exists beyond our control.
Who we become depends on many factors that we never chose.
The family we are born into.
The country we are born in.
The language we grow up speaking.
The teachers who taught us and shaped our interests.
The way those teachers taught: whether they inspired curiosity or fear.
The environment we grew up in.
The people around us.
All these things quietly shape us long before we are capable of making “choices”.
Even our interests are not purely our own. A single teacher can make us love a subject. A single moment can push us toward a career. A certain environment can make ambition feel natural or impossible. These influences come from outside, not from within.
So how can we honestly say we are self-made men or women?
Without even acknowledging that so much of what we have is our mindset, confidence, opportunities, and direction, came to us from above or around us?
We may work hard, yes. We may struggle, yes. But the starting point was never the same for everyone. The tools were not distributed equally. The doors did not open at the same time for all.
There is clearly something else at play. Something sitting on the top, silently shaping circumstances, blessing some paths, delaying others. Whether we understand it or not, whether we believe in it or deny it: it exists.
Recognizing this doesn’t mean denying effort. It means being honest.
It means understanding that effort alone does not create a life. Circumstance does. Timing does. People do. Forces beyond us do.
Maybe wisdom is not in claiming full control, but in accepting this truth with humility.
We are not completely in charge of our lives.
We are not entirely self-made.
We are shaped, guided, influenced and only then do we act.
And perhaps acknowledging this is what makes us more grounded, more grateful, and less arrogant about who we have become.