communication

I am halfway through the book: The Global Negotiator where the author speaks about communication categories based upon purpose. 

These are:

  1. Phatic: This type of communication consists of the preliminary discussions that are intended to build a binding personal relationship. It helps in creating a personal bond before coming to the negotiation table.
  2. Informational: The sharing of information is the most obvious purpose of communication. 
  3. Persuasive: This type of communication happens when one person desires to persuade another. 
  4. Cathartic: The purpose of this type of communication is the release of emotions. The need to share emotions with another person relates to both positive and negative emotions. 

listening

The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen to more and talk the less. –Zeno, Stoic Philosopher

Listening is a virtue very few have been able to master. I am working towards it. I should master it before my death, hopefully. 

Listening helps in gathering information to the best: A mentoring session, customer meeting, or team discussion. It helps in understanding the other well. It helps with precise information gathering and not missing out on any aspects.

I have been advised with some techniques in improving my listening skills, sharing it here:

  1. Listen patiently until the counterpart has finished speaking. Do not interrupt. 
  2. Avoid distractions while the conversation is going on. Snooze your cellphone.
  3. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t be judgemental or show disapproval either verbally or non-verbally while the other person is speaking.
  4. Focus on the message transmitted and not the words used.
  5. Ask open-ended questions. That allows participants to respond in an elaborated manner. 
  6. Take notes of key points.
  7. Focus your attention in the present, the conversation. Do not compare the part or build castles for the future.

winning

Winning runs in our adrenaline. Be it sports, politics, spelling bee, or business: winning at all cost is the mantra. It is part and parcel of every culture. With time, capitalism only added more fuel to it.

Is there any side effect of this teaching? Or this what we have to feed our kids, help them? Is there no way where everyone wins? Why do we have to pick sides?

Are we running on an invisible treadmill after birth or chasing the mirage called winning? Is this winning mindset turning our civilization into a dumpster, creating blocs and groups?

busy

Being busy seems to be the new norm. It gets us a bragging right. The treadmill crafted by a few wants us to feel great about being busy.

We are busy, still, nothing gets done on time. We are busy to miss the son’s first recital or daughter’s participation at a speech competition. We are busy and hence skip meeting ailing parents for months and mourn their death throughout our lifetime.

What have we done to ourselves? Are we a human or machine doing our part in the grand scheme of Capitalism?

We have stopped living idle or lazy. I wonder what Mozart, Van Gogh would have said about our current generation, seeing us all hooked to the gadgets or remote meetings.

cave

Most of us are living in our little cave. Our needs, friendship, and longings are limited to ourselves. What we like is part of the cave. What we dislike is irrational, wrong, or moronic. We are hurt with the discomfort even though they be the reality of life. Our limited knowledge is our ignorance.

I was watching Plato’s Allegory of the Cave and, it got me thinking. How uncomfortable we become at surroundings or self at unusual instances: A job interview, Date et all. Our perception and expectation have been set and conditioned since eternity. We are not looking beyond it and, we get a shocker.

What would you reply to a job interview if they ask about your meaning of existence? Will you tell them it a technical interview and you have not prepared to for answering this kind of question?

What would you reply to your Date if he/she asks you about the journey of life instead of materialistic possesions or conversations about your Instagram pics? Will, you put them in the loser category and never meet them?

destroy

I am not writing this as an ambassador for the protection of the global environment. I saw the documentary on Netflix last evening: David Attenborough: A life on our planet. I could see the destruction we have done to our habitat for our greed and want for more.

The documentary covers various aspects of the disappearance of wildlife species because of deforestation for growing soy/palm oil fields to the killing of fishes from the ocean and the death of corals and sea organisms.

Our progress with time has only caused calamity to nature, the rise of carbon emission, industrialization, growing foods on insecticides, and other chemicals. The overconsumption has resulted in breeding animals in the cage instead of nature.

I am part of this problem too. As a kid eating non-vegetarian food was a special occasion. Now it is commoditized and takes a few mins to be delivered to the doorsteps. We would use soap or shampoo a few days a week. There were Holi and Diwali only occasions for buying new clothes. We could get our slippers repaired, so most of our electronic gadgets.

We knew the source of our food: meat, fish, milk, or vegetables. They don’t exist now as the newer generation migrated to cities for more money.

I can donate to some non-profit and live guilt-free life thinking that would account for my carbon emission. Is that the solution? I don’t know.

co-pilot

What will happen to the plane if the co-pilot is not sticking to him checklist? It will result in an accident. A plane requires both pilots to stick to their task. What will happen if the crew will not serve their passengers with love and care? There will be an uproar. What will happen if in a long distant flight inhouse entertainment breaks down? The guests will not be happy.

Now replace co-pilots with founders, the crew with team members, and in-house entertainment with the product. The smooth functioning of a startup requires it all to work as an orchestra. Any single piece not performing as desired can create havoc. It can derail the entire startup.

So running and aircraft and a startup are the same. One mistake and life of the crew, members, and well-wishers all goes to dump. Hence the most important part is picking a co-pilot and then the crew members.

the tyranny of metrics

The industry I am in, we give too much importance to metrics. Our success, failures, and improvements each of it depends on the numbers. The side effect of this is that we end up giving more importance to metrics than execution and results. I picked this book title: the tyranny of metrics by Jerry Muller.

 The book covers many industries and how putting metrics as an incentive for salary or promotion resulted is worsening the service. 

The author sites some flaws, the outcome of measuring metrics. These are the contents of the book. 

We end up measuring the most easily measurable. 

We end up measuring inputs rather than outcomes.

We result in degrading information quality through standardization. 

At instances, we end up lowering standards by improving numbers. 

Many instances, Police did not report a burglary, rape cases for better metric on crime numbers by distorting and omitting data.  

Our 2008 financial crisis is a result of cheating with the metrics.

At instances, hospitals did not admit many sick patients and sent them to other hospitals. It will result in less fatality after operated in those hospitals. 

Does it mean measuring metrics should not happen? The author has presented with a checklist in case we have to do productivity measurement on metrics.

  1. What kind of information are you thinking of measuring?
  2. How useful is the information?
  3. How useful are additional metrics?
  4. What are the costs of not relying on standardized measurement?  
  5. To whom information be made transparent?
  6. What are the costs of acquiring the metrics?
  7. Ask why the people at the top of the organization are demanding performance metrics.
  8. How and by whom are the measures of performance developed?
  9. Remember that even the best measures are subject to corruption and goal diversion.
  10. Remember that sometimes, recognizing the limits of the possible is the beginning of wisdom.

Rejection

Why are we so scared of rejection? Don’t we know we have this one little life? How will we be rejected without trying?

I keep getting told reasons about not proposing the girl or starting a startup or switching the next big job as 1st employee. In most instances, we gave up without even trying.

Our life does not depend on what others say or their actions. Acceptance or rejection is part of life. But giving up even before trying is cowardice. Why do we have to blame our situations for our rejection? Why are we living our life like a zombie, wanting something else from it, and losing to rejections?

How many rejections our freedom fighters would have gone before getting the country out of Britishers? What happened to Sylvester Stallone while he went to make Rocky?

battle

We are mere mortals, just breathing. We are fighting to stay alive and relevant. What I mean by fighting is the dogma of society, insecurity of ours, and pessimism of our subordinates. We cannot excel at everything and, that is why we have to work our circle of competence.

Social media is full of opinions, anger, and suggestions. Some people are blaming the government while others our media(including me). The more and more I think it appears we have few things in our control: we can vote to pick the right candidate, we can stop watching that news channel and, their TRP will fail.

We can not suggest or garner our opinion on everything where we have no role to play. We have to pick our battle and make the world a better place.

We blame the atrocities towards our farmers but are we taking care of our employees well. We shout on the ill-treatment of women, are we treating our daughter well, and are we giving her equal opportunity compared to the son?

I keep reminded what Karthik said: Apna Kaam Karo. Let us give the best to what is in our control, give our best at it.