highway

Ramkumar would be 5 ft tall, wearing a black kurta pajama, turban, and loverly smile on his face. He looked perfect for Instagram, just I had no smartphone, and we were in the Orkut era. He was preparing the fire as November evening gets much colder in north India.

I was with Ashish on our way to meet Vishal in Ajmer from Jaipur. We had a flat tire and were working on fixing it. It was a sort of ghost encounter in the middle of the highway, a sealed compound with disputed property written on the gate. The property was under litigation for over 30 years. Thanks to the Indian judiciary, the owner and chowkidar both had switched their generation. Ramkumar’s father passed on the job to him before taking his last breath.

Me: Bhaiya paani milega?
Ramkumar: Ekdum milega Saheb.

Ramkumar lives with his wife Radha and Eight years old daughter Munia. Munia never misses her school. Munia was singing, dancing, and hyperactive like other kids of her age. She wants to be a scientist and like APJ Abdul kalam.

Ashish: Abe salle, Kahan Mar Gaya. (That was for me since I was busy with Ramkumar, instead of helping him)
Me: Aaza chai Pete hai.

Radha got us some onion pakora, chai and Ramkumar set a hookah. Next 30 mins I was zoned out. Was it their selfless hospitality or, was I high over hookah? I can’ recall. Ashish joined us after replacing the tire and giving me all the crazy looks.

I offered some money to Ramkumar, which he turned down. His words are still fresh in my ears.

Ramkumar: Garib paise se hai, Dil se Nahi. (poor with money, not the heart)

My eye went numb, and I hugged him and forcefully put the money in his pocket for Munia’s sake. I told him to buy some toffee for her.

For a change, I prayed for the property to remain disputed for years to come. It will ensure shelter for Ramkumar and his family. Munia must have grown up by now. I hope she ended up fulfilling her dreams. Most women in our country live life on the dreams, checklists, matches defined by their parents.

hide

How do a few of us hide the entire world of sorrow within ourselves? I have known a friend who never let the sad part of theirs be known to us all. One fine day he called adios. It is difficult to find what was going on?

It surprises me how behind the broad smile, the silence, we hide all our pain, anger, or the inability to express. I wonder if even the psychiatrist would find it.

I am more scared of someone’s silence than their shouting.

meaning

How many of us look for purpose in every action of ours? Is it possible to have meaning out of everything?

We should let ourselves free and let our mind wander if we are seeking creativity. The meaninglessness has its advantage and magic.

The way we are utilizing our time, always being busy, and compartmentalizing ourselves, measuring every minute. Where are we headed?

I met a few friends who are talking about their kid’s progress and learning growth. They are just 3-4 years. The parent’s FOMO is going to fuck up childhood for these kids. It appears the upcoming generation will become a robot and look for meanings right after taking birth.

Money

How much importance of money plays in our life? The answer is subjective.

Need for money for a farmer whose harvest has suffered him a loss. The struggle of loan repayments. The constant threats from loan sharks. How will they live without money?

A daughter who graduated got a job to fulfill her parent’s checklist: build a house, take care of siblings’ education, and save enough to get married. What about her aspirations, dreams? That can die with her.

Pandemic resulting in a daily wager losing his job. How will he feed the family? Where will he go? Hunger will kill everyone if he stops working for a week.

Someone born in the metro, with a well off family, parents earning enough for him/her to get bored with all the gadgets and flashy things. Money is a means to kill boredom.

Our world is not equal for everyone, and equality is a misnomer. Some die fulfilling others’ checklist, while many die every day a little by little to live.

Bidi

Ahmed looked younger than his age. His broad face, long beard, and dyed hair made him unique. Paan was over his face like a lipstick. I wonder if he was waiting for a passenger or someone he could talk to at midnight. I was smoking Godan Garam, beating Delhi’s winter after finishing a plate of chicken-changezi at Al-Jawahar near Jama Masjid.

Ahemd: Saheb Munirka ke 350 rupeyee. (350 rupees for Munikra)
Me: Theek hai bhaiya, 320 aur Ek bidi. (320 rupees and a Bidi)

Asking for Bidi from an auto driver brings a smile on their face. I am yet to understand why? Our auto crossed the dark gallis of Chandni Chok and headed towards Cannaught Palace. Ahmed switched off his FM and started to make a conversation.

Ahmed: Saheb, Kitna kama lete ho? (how much do you earn?)
Me: Ahmed Bhai, khane pine layak. (enough for my end meets)

Ahmed was eager to know my salary. But why? I understand when the bride/groom’s parents, but why was Ahmed asking all these? After much hesitation, I told him. After some time, he stopped the auto, and my heart sank.

Ahmed: Mere bachee apse Jada kama lete hai saheb. (my kids earn more than you)

I gave a broad smile and asked about Ahmed’s kids. Ahmed’s son is a veterinary doctor in Delhi Government, and his daughter is a lawyer at Tis Hazari court.

Ahmed lit two bidis and passed one to me.

Why are you riding auto at midnight, when your kids are so well off?
Ahmed: Saheb, is auto ki he Kamai hai na. Isko Kaise chor dun? (I made them successful while earning from this auto)

As our journey and conversation progressed, Ahmed mentioned about passing away of Noori, his wife. Being on the road makes him alive with people all around. The chit chat with fellow drivers, sharing happiness, and banters brings back youth in him.

Ahmed complained about the new generation and how the mobile phone has ruined conversation. Some passengers being rude, drunk never paid him after reaching the destination.

Our auto stopped at the JNU gate, we had another bidi, and we exchanged goodbyes. The road had gone empty and silent. It had mostly dogs, fat rats, and some cars headed to the airport.

Lead with context, not control

In Reed Hastings’s book: no rules rules, one chapter is titled “Lead with context, not control.”

When you hire smart, super talented people and give them proper specification of developments and let them decide. They will end up building the best. You just gave them context and, they took it from there. They will dislike micromanagement.

When you hire mediocre people, you will have to micromanage and spoonfeed them. Working just with context will hamper the development.

I found this analogy as an eye-opener.

team

In his book ‘no rules rules’; Reed Hastings talks about building an organization on an analogy of a sports team, not as a family.

When you are building a sports team, you will pick the best. People will compete and perform at their peak and byproduct being team winning. There will be no mediocrity. When a member is not delivering or wants to move, it can happen amicably. There will be no blood loss, as the end goal of the team is to be the best.

When it comes to creating an organization as a family, we end up accepting the flaws of a member and end up shielding them because everyone is a family. The organization ends up a mediocrity. It ends up building an organization with emotions embedded, and win takes backfoot.

I have started liking the team analogy now: I was a firm believer in running an organization as a family earlier. I wish this book had come 2-3 years back.

Akash

I met Akash on a cold winter morning and, his eyes were red, like someone returning from a long night shift. He was wearing a Hawai chappal and, minuscule clothes were on his body. He was sitting outside our main gate. I used to live in Muniraka Gaon those days, a buzzing ghetto in south Delhi.

Kya naam hai bhai aur yahan aise kahe baithe ho? (why are you sitting outside like this?)
Sir Akash. Kaam dhund rahe hai sir, Delhi abhi abhi aaye hain. (looking for a job, moved to Delhi recently)

After talking a little more over hot chai and butter rusk, I got to know he took a train from Saharanpur and landed here two days back. His father beat him for failing in exams. He started crying uncontrollably. Later on, he told me that he had not eaten for the past 20 hours. I was wondering if he was missing his parents or morning paratha over chai.

Akash was lost. Either it was the traffic noise or his thoughts. We walked around the galli, like walking in a mini cosmopolitan, that is Munirka Village for you.

Later on, with a small face, he requested if he can get cleaned up at my place. Who was I to say no? I invited him to my RatHole.

Time flew by, grown up in a small town In Bihar, many of his stories were relatable. From mango, amrood, borewell, and stopping the train. I asked Akash what he wants to be, and he replied: Jo likha hoga, ho zaiga. (whatever is in fate, I will get that).

We headed to Ber Sarai for breakfast: poori, jalebi, and sabzi. I asked Akash if he is missing his parents, sister, and would like to go back home. He said he would but has no money. He was also scared of his father.

We took an auto, headed to the New Delhi Railway Station. I got a Tatkal ticket for the evening train and big my farewell to Akash.

It’s been over 17 years now. I hope Akash would have gotten what fate had in store for him. I still get nostalgic about the Delhi winters and random encounters with Akash.

I leave this for you readers to decide if it is a fiction or real incident. 🙂

please

Reed Hastings: No rules rules talk about “don’t seek to please your boss.” In the end, it is about the company, not an individual persona. It is okay to be dissent, ask questions, and give feedback.

It reminded me of Ray Dalio’s Radical openness. If the organization and management run on pleasing their leaders, how will employees think, give constructive feedback, or question the authority?

As a leader, if you are hiring people to please you and your ideas, you are killing innovation and destroying your companies value.

A leader cannot always be right. They cannot alone run the big ship. They need free thinkers, decision-makers, and A+ players to lead, question, and take the organization to a new high.

Communication

I have realized now that one thing which can screw up employees and employer relationships is communication. You can be an A player, but if you are not able to communicate with your peers, clients, or superiors you will stay miserable. You will die a little every day, and when nothing would work, one fine day you will quit.

How will anybody know what is not working out well for you if you will not communicate? How will your employer know about the problems you are in related to work, family, or financials.

Be a good communicator before becoming an employee. It will do justice for every stakeholder around you.