Something is wrong with me?
My social circle has shrunk. The meetups, events, and gatherings have reduced. My consumption and interaction with the virtual world are also limited.
I have started to live most of my time with myself.
Self-introspection gave some answers:
- Participating in subjects I have control over will make me saner.
- My bias should not hinder the relationship.
- Socializing loads the brain as well as the stomach.
People who need me will find me.
I have been a non-stop talker. My friends close to me are aware of this. I am working on getting this fixed.
I have realized silence and listening to others is more relaxing. It keeps brain saner.
Listening to others helps in keeping a check on biases. It powers independent thinking.
Let see how many days It will take to achieve these virtues.
Fighting with barista for making frothy cappuccino is easy.
What is difficult: having some empathy. Keeping calm and registering complaint.
Our problems are prime and the world or people around us should resonate with it. We have the least clue or concern about others.
- Why would it matter if my apartments security guard has been skipping lunch to send money back home?
- My maid’s daughter is getting married at a young age. She will pay less dowry.
Why the hell should it matter anyway, my Amazon delivery has not reached on time. I need to shout at these morons.
Consider yourself blessed because :
1. You can think.
2. You have enough to pay for your food.
3. House for a living.
4. The companion you can trust.
5. Access to the Internet and knowledge to read.
Because most of the human population don’t have these.
Are we living in some kind of simulation?
Who is influencing our decision-making ability?
What is driving us for hoarding, overeating?
What is making us live a life of debt?
We spend many hours at present, thinking about the past.
Does it help us?
Does it make us stronger?
Does it add more regret or remorse?
Isn’t past like a train journey which we completed? Why do we have to carry the baggage of it now?
Our brain is the most complex human organ. Many researches are underway to find out its mystery.
My own experience has made me realize that my brain gets affected by:
- People I meet/talk to.
- Music I listen to.
- Movies I watch.
- Foods I eat.
- Workouts I do.
- Books I read
In short, every single action of mine affects my brain. Isn’t it crazy?
I used to be that guy who vouched for multi tasking. As time passed, I’m experiencing its side effects. Doing multiple things at the same time requires our brain to act like a router, throwing packets to different IP addresses. While the router is made for it, our brain is not.
A few months ago, I deleted my personal Instagram and Facebook accounts. I have not been using Whatsapp for over a few years now.
I’m experimenting with restricting my twitter and telegram/chat exchanges these days. The experiment is still in its very early days. I am under withdrawal syndrome mode. I have added website blocking apps on all my browsers on laptop. Luckily I don’t need them on my mobile.
I have a few hours allocated in a day to check Twitter, Telegram, Reddit and Hacker news. That is my time for cribbing, Interacting and adding footprint for global warming. If this trial goes well, the next step will be deleting Gmail app from mobile and allocating a few hours a day for emails on laptop.
My current life does not require the use of being connected all the time, so I have the luxury of this experiment. Last year I read Cal Newport book “Deep Work”, I am hoping I can pick up something from It. I am in the journey of acquiring self knowledge and books are my best friends.
What will you do with all that money when:
- You are sleep deprived.
- You are addicted on alcohol and narcotics.
- You have no control over your anger.
- You have a big house but no friends.
- You are a slave to your vices.
- Your kids have no respect for you.
- You have no one to look after you.
At 33, I stumbled upon philosophy. This time it was Jiddu Krishnamurti, thanks to Twitter and one of the tweets of Naval Ravikant mentioning his name.
Over the years I have realized that most of the modern day self help books and motivational content are nothing but recycled philosophy.
With time, my interest in reading philosophy increased. I read a good number of philosophers ranging from different schools of Philosophy.
I have realized that I relate the most with the discourses of Socrates, Diogenes and Epictetus.
Reading philosophy keeps me sane.
I am hopeful that before I die, I will have some smaller notes published covering the teachings of them. A small note that I can carry in my mobile and look at instead of checking email or wasting time.
Socrates said: “I know that I know nothing”, I am in the same zone. The quest of self knowledge is a work in progress.