There is a different kind of confusion one experiences when they have no permanent address. Although I spent my life up to class 10th in Bihar, where my parents still reside, I still don’t know where I will eventually settle or where I can truly say I’m from.
I am always grateful to my mother for pushing me to Delhi for higher studies and making me spend a significant part of my life there. Yet, I still feel I’m from everywhere. Many of my friends and acquaintances get confused when I tell them that I’ve lived in their city or country—10-odd cities and 3 countries so far.
When you’re not with your parents, it feels miserable. There is no one to put up with your tantrums; you have to be on your own. You either become self-dependent or lose a sense of attachment. It’s a double-edged sword. I remember during COVID, I felt like I was dying all alone in an apartment in Bangalore. The next morning, Krishna came, even though he was sick. But the chest and body pain was unbearable.
Another incident happened in Dubai while chopping vegetables. I cut my finger, and the blood just wouldn’t stop. A friend remotely guided me to a pharmacy and helped me get medicines. But that one hour of horror was painfully long and made me question what I was doing outside India.
Living alone in different cities and countries has its advantages too. No one judges you—you can mingle freely and see different sides of the world. There’s no one to tell you what’s right or wrong.
Till my early 30s, it was fun, but then boredom set in, and now it feels more like solitude—a way of just being with myself. But the bottom line is: I’ve stayed with myself through the good years.
I feel life is much harder for the younger generation because of social media and the constant urge to look good and stay relevant. Add to that the job hunt and the uncertainty of changing markets. Digital detox and meditation can be helpful. We’re all looking busy, we’re all connected—but we’re still alone, with minds that are crowded.