Rejection

Why are we so scared of rejection? Don’t we know we have this one little life? How will we be rejected without trying?

I keep getting told reasons about not proposing the girl or starting a startup or switching the next big job as 1st employee. In most instances, we gave up without even trying.

Our life does not depend on what others say or their actions. Acceptance or rejection is part of life. But giving up even before trying is cowardice. Why do we have to blame our situations for our rejection? Why are we living our life like a zombie, wanting something else from it, and losing to rejections?

How many rejections our freedom fighters would have gone before getting the country out of Britishers? What happened to Sylvester Stallone while he went to make Rocky?

battle

We are mere mortals, just breathing. We are fighting to stay alive and relevant. What I mean by fighting is the dogma of society, insecurity of ours, and pessimism of our subordinates. We cannot excel at everything and, that is why we have to work our circle of competence.

Social media is full of opinions, anger, and suggestions. Some people are blaming the government while others our media(including me). The more and more I think it appears we have few things in our control: we can vote to pick the right candidate, we can stop watching that news channel and, their TRP will fail.

We can not suggest or garner our opinion on everything where we have no role to play. We have to pick our battle and make the world a better place.

We blame the atrocities towards our farmers but are we taking care of our employees well. We shout on the ill-treatment of women, are we treating our daughter well, and are we giving her equal opportunity compared to the son?

I keep reminded what Karthik said: Apna Kaam Karo. Let us give the best to what is in our control, give our best at it.

transactional

We are living in a transactional world. Be it your lover, your kid, or colleagues. Everyone likes to be helped and align with those who are out there for the rescue.

The measure of our success is the wealth we have accumulated or the worldly possessions we own. Our pedigree or job role gets followers for their benefits.

Knowing that all these are temporary and all we have to do is to help without expecting in return to keep mental peace. It resembles with the old Urdu saying: “Neki Kar Dariya Me Daal”

Our vices have made us opportunists, helpless, and slaves to our desire. We have to live with it and keep moving.

Insult

Have we become more feedback averse? We feel insulted when a subordinate, mentor gives us critical feedback. We end up engaging in passionate conversation, proving our position. Do we feel threatened? Do we get scared? Or it has more to do with our pride?

I feel our level of tolerance, seeing, and taking feedback in real aspect has deteriorated. We cannot take things at face value. Our ego and emotion take over. We start hating our advisor or someone who says things against what we would like to hear.

How much a roadside guy or a social media faceless person means to us? How and why their response makes us angry? We feel insulted over one’s remark that has no importance to our life.

Technology

Has technology made a better life for us all? We will get a mixed answer for the same.

Ask a son living in the metro who speaks to his parents every morning and shares his day via video conference. It seems magic, a family connected via technology and sharing lives.

Now there are other incidents where propaganda and bigotry with fake news causing riots and killing others.

Is it not the same technology but at two instances resulting differently. How much should we blame the carrier, technology? Is it not about our consciousness instead of blaming technology?

Why should the actions of a few make life miserable for most others? I keep hearing mobile networks bought down. The internet halted because of religious tensions. I feel sad for those old parents or growing up kids.

stories

Have you ever asked your maid about her story, what made her come to Bangalore and help you with the daily chores for earning? The vegetable vendor on the street who exchanges greetings and offers fresh items? The hotel waiter who smiles seeing you because he knows he will get some tips. These are a small set of people I interact with almost every week. In your case, there might be a different set.

I know capitalism has made us a racehorse and social media its slave. But if you listen to their story, you will not have to waste money on buying inspirational books from Amazon or listen to Dale Carnegie. You will relate to them more than everything else. Their hardship is an everyday thing, and willingness to go against all the odds is an eye-opener.

Why have we made them invisible, why can’t we listen to their stories?

times

After a few months, I am out, meeting friends in person and some shared incidents about layoffs. COVID has changed market dynamics and operations. Many jobs will be lost forever.

The capital was cheap; growth was supreme. Now it is about survival and profitability. So many non-essential roles are getting cleaned up. Some firing incidents are to conserve cash and increase the runways. I am not blaming anyone here because no one anticipated the butterfly effect of COVID. The thing which made me sad is the way people got fired. In some instances, security guards standing next to them and other thousands of firings happened over 10 minutes Zoom call.

All the principles and vision statements on the company’s wall or CEO’s speech turned out false. When times are tough, that is when virtues come for the test. A leader’s ideology, practice comes to the center.

Tough times are temporary. It helps in filtering froth. It helps in knowing who is guarding their principles and who was faking it.

bhool gaye

Kya hum bhool gaye unhe, kya humne dafan kar diya unko- unke kurbaniyoo ke sang?

Desh ko banane wale un kaargaar kisanoo aur majduroo ko, marne diya humne unko raste pe, chor diya unko unke badkismatee pe.

Kya thi galti unke? Paida hue the wo garib, adham ya jaati dand bhog rahe the samaaj ka?

Desh ke siyassatdaro ne to kabka mooh mod liya tha unse, iss baar bhagwaan bhi asra de na saka unhe.

Samaaj ka kya hai, aaj inka aur kal unka. Jisne pheka paisa, naach liye unke kehne pe.

Desh to chal he raha hai, julmo sitam to hamesa hue. Par iss baar apne aur apne kehne walo ne mood mood liya. Chor diya marne ko, marne diya unhe, kar diya dafan insaniyat ko.

Pata nahi kya bhagwaan bhi maaf karega unko, jinke roti aur imaan majhab pe tiki hue hai. Chala rahe hai jo dukaan raam/rahim ke duum pe.

leadership

Every time I read a book on leadership, I end up writing a post. It was Arpit who recommended me Adam Grant’s: Give and take. I am halfway through and, it got me thinking about leadership style.

The more I see about leadership: I feel it is like running an orchestra. You have to be there and, the constellation runs on its own. It is more about picking the right team, fostering a culture that accepts failing, learning, and moving.

A leader’s job is to nudge, motivate, and believe in the team.
A leader’s job is to give it all.
A leader’s job is about not being a control freak.
A leader’s job is not about being a Nero but Marcus Aurelius.

game

Is our life more like a game? We cross stages, win points on becoming successful, and lose for failing programmed by society.

We look for accomplishments like superpowers at every stage. It is like playing a game, winning a princess in Super Mario(the only game I ever played with all focus). The bright future promised to us after completing the rounds: study, job, etc.

The game has replays, unlike life. So be careful with it.