self

Be it Socrates or Bhagwad Gita or Japanese Ikigai: all had a core teaching of finding within. In short, knowing: who am I?

The gurukul system was known for holistic teaching. From early on, a child was taught to self enquire: try, fail, learn, and once out of education, make their life. Your life becomes virtues you acquire.

With the advancement in technology, our new generation has a suite of options to pick from and make their life. I see kids in 18-20 years figured out everything in their life, sharing all their wisdom on social media. It pleasantly surprises me. Access to technology has empowered them at such an early age.

I also have friends in their mid 30’s after having kids, an established business, family talking about a void in life, and not being satisfied.

Finding self, Ikigai is more of a self-journey. It can only happen from within. It means trying all the journeys, paths, readings, and mentors. The purpose of our life hangs on our actions and, externals have a limited role in it.

Star Trek mentions: “Where No Man Has Gone Before”; essentially, that is what it is. We have to push ourselves into knowing ourselves, finding peace with our solitude, and making acquainted with who we are. We cannot fool ourself, but constantly evolve and continue that search. The journey of life is painful and, finding purpose can make it less miserable.

Kissa

Apni Zindgi ka kissa likh rahe hai,
Apne zindgi ke panno pe, kismat ki sayahi se.

Dawaat ka rang bhi mausam ke zaise badal zata hai, hum jab madmast hai tab alag aur jab gam me dube hai tab lag.

Kabhi lagta hai ki kuch likh rahe hai, kabhi bas dhabba sa chor dete hai.

Hum us madaari ke dur se bandhe he to hai, ziye za rahe hai uske isharee pe.

Madari ke hawale hai zindgi likh rahe hai kissa apni zindgi ka.

Kai baar aanshuoo ke rang ko bhi nichod dena padta hai, tab zake, kabhi koi kissa pura likha zata hai.

Freedom

Freedom is a double-edged sword. It comes with its own challenges. In the eyes of society, you are an outcast and, for actions, you are responsible.

The sooner we realize that the consequences of our decisions and actions will be on us, the easier becomes our journey.

In short, freedom comes with a lot of responsibility.

Privilege

I have been interacting with founder friends regularly. Most of them are working hard to sail on their journey. Some of them are seasoned and, some are out in the fundraising market. Their observation says privilege has switched sides. I am not sure if it is permanent or temporary.

An incident a founder shared a few days back where a marquee fund’s associate dropped a few times their alma mater, some Ivy League. In reply, the founder asked how many startups they have built. The call got over politely. He stopped the further conversation with the fund.

With all the money floating around in the ecosystem, the privilege has switched sides. Now founders are deciding whom to take money. As a founder, this is a perfect time for building a startup.

For a VC fund and the team, just dropping a pedigree will not win them a deal. One has to work extra hard and show them their worth for it.

Auto

Ramana lost his wife during 2nd wave of COVID19. There is a void; he cannot fill. He was under severe depression and, at times, thought of ending his life. He consoles himself that he did everything by his means, from running to a hospital to bribing for a hospital bed or paying an inflated price to oxygen cylinders to taking immediate cash by depositing gold.

Ramana’s daughter, Mala, lives in England with her family and a 10-year-old child. She could not attend her mother’s last rites due to lockdown. She has been persuading her father to move with them. But Ramana being a free bird, likes living on his terms, essentially freedom.

I was sitting with Ramana and smoking bidi near Basawangudi Bull Temple while appreciating the beauty of garland-laden newly purchased auto. He told me that I had to wait till 9:30 am to join him on the maiden ride. The priest has not come yet for puja.

I asked Ramana, what was the need for driving an auto, he could relax, read and be with himself on which Ramana interrupted saying, he has no plans of dying in boredom and loneliness. He likes talking, mingling with the crowd, and eating at the old shops. Ramana’s daughter Mala wanted to buy him a car, but Ramana wanted an auto. It requires less maintenance and is more mobile.

I could see his eyes being numb and, he confessed educating her daughter was the best decision of his life. He is not worried about his survival. His end meets are taken care of by Mala. This auto-driving is to keep him active.

I had a customer meeting at 9, so I left wishing Ramana good luck. I am hopeful of riding on his auto someday and continue our conversation.

Auroville

I remember visiting Auroville in 2012. My friend Igor was heading their internal IT infrastructure there. It was Open Source Technology that made us friends. I had a great couple of days stay there. Most of the time was learning their technology implementation and evening picking some beer and talking. I have not been a follower of any ideology, sect since early childhood. I feel we are all part of this vast universe where our significance hardly matters.

I was too high in my spirits to care about Utopia or social experiment or commune at that time. I do remember seeing Matraimandir while entering the premises. In my early 20’s, philosophy or spirituality was miles away from me. It was more about figuring out and fighting with my hormones to keep me sane.  

Last week I picked up “Better to have Gone” by Akash Kapur.

  1. It talks about the foundation of Auroville. How things changed after the founder  Mirra Alfassa (known as “the Mother”) died. 
  2. The worship, faith of a couple on “the Mother”; resulted in their death.
  3. The stakeholder’s infighting. Who should run and control Auroville?
  4. It also talks about the CIA running a secret LSD experiment in the early days. 
  5. The plight of youngsters. The newborns and missing parents. 

I don’t know the author personally. I understand his writing comes from the research, meetings, and his wife. They have grown up at Auroville those days. Also, I am no judge for giving readers a rating on it. I liked reading the book. The way events are explained, how true or false are they: I don’t know. 

From my limited knowledge, every cult, sect, Utopia requires a guru, die-hard followers who think they will find purpose in their life following the guru, and lots of money. Was or Is Auroville any different? I don’t know. 

Someone on a thread below has added their take. Feel free to check it.

faith

Sometimes I wonder if faith is a poison. In another instance, I feel the survival of ours depends on faith. We divided ourselves on these faiths.

The byproduct of faith ended up being a religion or worshipping some sect or joining some cult. Our upbringing or environment has a role in picking the faith.

Some of us end up living with it. Our food practices, worshipping, attachments and aversions, faith has a role.

As an outsider, seeing other practice their faith, which we are not part of, might sound absurd. But who are we to have or keep a judgment? Are we not in a free world? Are we all not unique?

Our faith and the path we pick to continue the journey of our lives are ours.

Time

There is time for everything, something elders told me in the past. I see the point in it. The fast pace of our generation has made us more machine.

There is an app for everything: eat, walking, exercising, etc. We built machines for leisure. We are now a slave to it.

Our betterment is nothing but a never-ending automated, machine governed checklist. What happened to automation adding idleness to our life?

We have time for everything but not ourselves.

passion

Passion has become poison and, marketers, brands or, gurus are minting money out of it and propagates over various social media platforms or page3 or via YouTube.

The side effect: everyone is passionate about everything because they are chasing their peers. Passion has ended up becoming an invisible unicorn.

True passion comes from within, not lying to self and acting upon seeing others.

But our marketers have found a way for that too. Once you fail with passion, get into burnout mode, then pay a therapist or buy more from E-commerce without needing.

Cricket

Those were the pre-liberalization days when Television or Telephone or, Scooters were for riches. In our village, we had a family with a television. They also had a battery backup. After all, electricity was scarce too.

Those days, Sharjah Cricket tournaments were hot. By some magic or betting, India and Pakistan would always end up in the finals. I was living in my village with my grandma those days. And like everyone else, cricket was a religion for me. We had early dinner and, we were at Ramesh Kaku’s (uncle) house. We had our spot on the chattai(mat) in the verandah. Most village elders men were there. The place smelled like a bus stand with paan, bidi, hookah, and tobacco smells all around.

Ramesh Kaku(uncle) owned the television. He returned after retiring from the Army. His mustache reminds me of a pigtail, an angry man, high on spirits from the army canteen.

India won the toss and elected to bat. After the first 15 overs, it felt we were in a commanding position. We had lost no wickets. We had runs too. Every single run scored was cheered up. Some of us would scream, stand up and do a parallel commentary, advising players. Our elders would tell them to sit and enjoy the game.

After four hours of a nail-biter, India lost. My impulsive cousin Mahesh went and broke the television screen. A cloud of smoke with a smell was all around us. We were all speechless.

We had the sadness of India losing. Now with the television screen gone, another pain. Ramesh Kaku shouted, maro maro (beat him) and, Mahesh got a thrashing. He was laughing, not sure it was bhang or sadness of money he lost in betting.