koolhead17
It is not necessary to be liked by everyone in the universe because your universe is half a dozen people on your IM and Phone book with recent calls/msgs. If you have that, you have a universe.
We cannot control what others think about us. We don’t have to be liked by everyone. We cannot please everyone.
There is a race for showcasing our identity. What should be our identity? An animal with consciousness, genes of homo sapiens, or domesticated animals living in the dogmas of society?
Every new generation brings its own identity with a curse: religion, caste, color, gender, rich or poor. One section of society benefits from this and, most of us suffer.
How much should our identity matter to us? Are we not in the end humans?
I keep hearing about how you should build your network. We should nurture it for a good life and future. My limited learning has been that it cannot be artificial or totally on materialistic grounds.
Your network requires authentic relationships, commitment, and contribution. The center of it begins with people, trust, and bonding. It requires more giving and less expecting. It goes against the human nature of our ego. It requires more listening, being empathetic.
We have something to share with our peers, loved ones, or friends. The emergence of social media has amplified the creative persona within us.
The downside of this is that we are left with very few listeners around us. Nobody has time to listen or help console. It is like we are all moving, running, and pacing. It is like we are over-breathing, not taking a break to rejuvenate, talk, listen, share happiness, or miseries.
The pipal tree in my village is still intact: a limited bunch of oldies sits talk over hookah, laugh, and spread joy. Sometimes we would sit next to them and hear those giggles or passively enjoy chillum smoke.
The tsunami of digitalization and mass migration to metros is rewriting humanity and society at large.
When everyone is talking, who will listen? Aah: therapists, pay to them.
How much time we spend with ourselves. How much do we introspect? Do we rethink and access our actions on a particular scenario?
If we are coming to the same mistake again and again, are we any different from the lab rats?
I remember reading Charlie Munger’s biography where he talks about the inversion mechanism. I found it worth considering. But to apply the framework of thousand other mental models shared by social scientists, we need to introspect.
We are running a sprint without knowing our blind spots because we are thrown the carrot aka incentives in winning prize.
Aren’t we dying every moment? And add the self-guilt, inferiority complex, insecurity. It adds like a perfect cocktail for others to treat us like shit and, we believe it.
Aren’t humans an intelligent species?
How did we end up being so fearful?
Why are we killing with every single decision, the action of ours?
What is missing in us?
Do we not need a little bit of self-introspection?
Why are we so scared?
There is some reason why we are alive; the reason is to live on our feet, be more confident, live in the moment and make the best of the opportunity provided. In the end, the choice is ours: glass is half full or empty, depends on your mindset and actions.
If you treat yourself as a loser or trash in your eyes, how will someone respect you? It’s like walking dead.
Most industry runs on trust. The byproduct is money. Sadly some forget this. Some start looking for personal gain. It results in affecting the ecosystem in bad faith.
You cannot eat all the dollars or gold while left in isolation.
It is trust, faith that drives humanity towards a better future. Donating millions to the temple after killing masses by selling substandard drugs, food items won’t take away all the vice.
I don’t write politics or fight about it. But a few weeks back, my friend Sonal suggested me a podcast. One of its episodes had Vinay Sitapati talking about his book Jugalbandi. The book is about the Advani-Modi relationship and running BJP. But it predates old history as well. I am not sure how much of it is true, but it was a good refresher.
The book starts with the origin of RSS and ends with the Modi-Shah duo. If you are unhappy with everything happening now, the book has a detailed explainer for it. It covers the formation of Hindu Mahasabha to Jan Sangh to Janta Party and the BJP.
Other incidents which it also covers are:
Apart from this, the book also talks about RSS/BJP relations, the elevation of Modi as a national leader, Vajpayee-Advani relationship covering personal and political life.
The most surprising part for me was knowing Vajpayee. His style of leadership not aligning with RSS. And how RSS did not like his rule, where Advani was the wall for him.
You can take the thirsty to a pond. When someone craving mineral water, how are you helping?
We are all aspirational humans. We want the best in our life. Be it with a job, our life, or a relationship. It has to be top-notch; we don’t settle for mediocre.
As a friend, don’t offer unwanted shoulders or advice. Sometimes we can help our friends by doing nothing. Let them get lost, figuring out things or two.
This thinking has come after a friend of mine got a job. He had to wait for 6-7 months, but he is happy. All our shoulders, help, referrals were of no use. Cos he had other plans. 🙂
In short, you cannot influence the want of others.
There is no bulletproof plan as such. Be it with business or personal life. What most of us do is optimize for adversity. Keep a plan B; I have been asked and advised.
I don’t know much about others, but I have lived a wholesome life, the best of both worlds. I don’t believe in these multiple plans as it gives an excuse to fail and perish.
I am a big believer in focus and doing one thing at a time. So this paranoia of multi-tasking, biohacking makes me go nuts.
Sometimes the best way to live a life is to have no plans but to live in the moment.