On willpower

I was reading the book: One Thing, in one section, the author talks about willpower. I liked it and made notes of the same, sharing it here.

1. Willpower is limited, spend it wisely.
2. Be full belly, this way willpower.
3. Do what matters in the first half of the day. This is the time when willpower is on prime.
4. Do not fight with your willpower.
5. Build a system which acts as a cover for willpower.
6. Don’t spread your willpower too thin.

What screws up willpower.

1. Implementing new behavior.
2. Filtering distractions.
3. Suppressing emotions.
4. Taking tests.
5. Resisting aggression.
6. Resisting temptations.
7. Trying to impress others.
8. Doing something you hate.
9. Coping with fear.
10. Selecting long-term over short-term rewards.

Trash

Most of my friends are in a relationship be it by virtue or marriage or commitment. I am not going to argue if it is fear of missing out or societal pressure for this bondage.

Some of my friends are not happy, they are treated like trash by their partners. Most of the time they will act normal about it all but the situation changes after few pints of beer.

You may ask, why can’t the breakup and pursue a better partner?
The simple reason is “Sunk Cost Fallacy“.
The sunk cost fallacy occurs when people irrationally continue an activity that no longer meets their original expectations. But why would anyone do this? Why not quit? The reason they don’t quit is because of the time, money, and energy they’ve already invested.

Our human mind is not rational. We forget about our well being and happiness. We continue living on autopilot. We continue treated like trash because of our investments.

Externals

We are born to live in this society, but consciousness and actions are all ours. Why do we need approvals from others on our actions?

Many businesses are reaping on our insecurity. This approval from externals.

It is our life, how does it matter to us what someone on social media has to say about how we dress, eat or look?

Why should it affect our self-esteem or confidence?

How many of the so-called critics have seen the hard work we have been through to reach this stage.

Crying

Crying is not limited to humans. Even animals cry.

Crying is not limited to the flow of water coming through our eyes. There are scenarios, situations in our life where we have got a limited choice. The situations which need us to take action on short notice.

* An accident on a highway with no ambulance to carry for immediate medicare.
* Rare chances of survival for the wife of a tea seller. Even after selling his tea stall, he could not pay the operating costs.

There are some situations where we can show rationality to outside.

Nothingness

Past few months have been exciting. In short, I am getting closer to the state of nothingness. The state of feeling nothing. Earlier I used to be in this state for a few days. It has continued longer this time.

I am not judging if it is good or bad for me. But I am sure people around me must be witnessing a robot near them.

What could have been the reason for it: Food, What I read, I listen to. I have no clue.

c-state versus f-state

In his book “driven to distraction at work”, the author talks about c-state versus f-state.

C-state

Cool
Calm
Collected
Careful
Curious
Courteous
Caring
Consistent
Concentrated

F-state

Fearful
Fatigued
Feeble
Frantic
Forgetful
Feckless
Flakey
Fucked up

He gives his advice to achieve C-state, acquiring f-state is natural behaviour of ours.

1. Having healthy snacks.
2. A quick burst of exercise( for brain break)
3. Meditate or power nap
4. Vitamin connect(connecting with dear ones, talking with them)
5. Humor(Indulging in watching some shows)
6. Medication(If it is really necessary)
7. Experiment

I believe in some of these mentioned points. What about you?

Nope

Nobody likes No for a request. Ego fuels anger and animosity.
The ones who enjoy an upper hand will eventually force the minuscule fellow to do as directed.

Why can’t we take no?

Why can’t we be rational and listen to the other side of the story?

Why do we have to burn ourselves and run around like a headless chicken?

Power

The problem of power is not new. Many rulers were killed and the era of empires fell.
 
We, humans, crave for power. The craving for power is no less than consuming narcotics or drugs.
 
Some get lucky while others toil for power.
 
Alexander, Nero or Hitler: power dominated above everything for them all.
 
In a modern environment, power does more harm than good. The success will depend on team collective, not one person’s veto.

Respect

People forget these days that authority does not guarantee respect. It requires empathy and degree of commitment.

If you are kind, impartial and treat everyone without any bias people will respect you.

If you are in the sales role, you would be facing this daily. Every purchaser expects you to listen to them. They would like to be the supreme authority. It turns more of shoving their ego instead of rational conversation.

With great power comes great responsibility.
Benjamin “Ben” Parker(Spider-man)

You cannot threaten or scare your peers on account of superiority for respect.

One has to earn respect by respecting others.