Busy

Busy is the best excuse for avoiding people or meetings. We create a shadow of priority on us. I have no idea if it is good or bad.

I know about a son who was so busy minting money that he never cared to inquire about his father’s health. One day his father died because of the stomach pain which was an ulcer.

I also know how one’s best friend turned alcoholic because of isolation is seclusion. All other friends were busy on sending him WhatsApp and facebook forwards. Nobody met him in real life or asked how he was doing.

Relationships define us. We cannot escape or hide from it. We have to be part of it.

Parents

There comes a time in our life when we have to make some decisions.
 
I have lived last decade away from my parents. They are retired and chilling in my hometown. I have tried many times to make them come to stay with me for a few months but always failed.
 
I don’t know what should I do apart from meeting them every few months and talking to them every day.
 
I have no answers!

Mind Bug

I was reading the book The Truthful Art which is about data visualization. The author also cites some reference on how we humans behave and act.

He points 3 things:

1. We love recognizing patterns. We don’t like much randomness. That is what powers bias like gambler’s fallacy.

2. We love storytelling. Once we have recognized a pattern next comes building story around it. We will craft the story to match our need, situations.

3. We start confirming it. That is where confirmation bias kicks over.

We love this process and repeat it everywhere. Smart folks like Charlie Munger and Ray Dalio has spoken in length about this behavior of ours. They advise for mental models, principles, and checklists.

In a chaotic and hyper-connected world, how much time do we have for making a response?

Very Less.

Broken Dreams

It is so easy to get mad at watchman for taking time in opening door.

It is easy to get angry at the delivery boy for calling up few times for address confirmation.

It is easy to get hyper at cook for adding extra salt by mistake.

It takes an effort to know the story of the watchman, who has traveled 1000 kilometers away from his hometown because he had no opportunity there.

It takes rationality to realize that the delivery boy was born poor and his family could not afford his education. He is sole earner in his family.

It takes empathy to understand that cook’s daughter has been in a hospital for a few weeks, she needs money and can’t take off from the job.

This world is inverted, one side we have everything in abundance. This side craves for more. This side is unhappy.

The other side is just crawling, trying to take a day as it comes. The job security, education or medical care is distant dreams. Who cares for the broken dreams of this side?

Sometimes

Sometimes due to anger people end up showing their weakness. The insecurity and ego flow with the conversation. In such situations, one cannot argue with reason.
 
We should empathize with the angry person and investigate what could have been the cause for it. The anger and non-rational act should be forgiven.
 
We humans are generally good, it is a situation and circumstances which gets over us.
 
A friend of mine also advised that being a great listener when other side is screaming helps.

Grumpy

What is the point of being grumpy?

An ailing father is mad at his son because he could not join him for Thanksgiving.
An employee is grumpy with his co-founder for working extra hours.
An investor is unhappy with his portfolio for missing the quarter MAU.
A customer is grumpy for poor vendor because he is not giving timelines of the project delivery.

Why don’t we humans be little rational? Don’t we know our time in this life is limited? We have to live in harmony, peace.

Every problem has a solution. But being grumpy, mad or egomaniac will make things even worst.

Why are we letting our insecurity and weakness effect environment around us?

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Paper: On product customization and customers willing to pay more

I was reading this behavioral economics paper [PDF] On product customization and customers willing.

It cites how our bias plays its role (endowment effect, IKEA effect) and why credit card companies, E-commerce giants stress on personalized care and recommendation. Why we end up paying more for the customized coffee mug and feel worse if it gets broken.

Three important points:

1. Our willingness to pay more on a customized product depends on the cost.
2. Our earning defines our willingness to pay for customization.
3. We decide on customization in accordance with social trends.

Assumption

An assumption can make us sick. It fosters our brain’s ability to switch things in our or against our favor.

Love, hate, like, dislike all these are made up in our brain. Our bias, experience plays an equal role.

The monkey mind will always have its fight mode open as are our assumptions.

* My bf/gf is cheating on me.
* My manager dislikes my work.
* My employees are not motivated enough.
* My parents don’t care about me.

I keep hearing these. Without a proper investigation, we assume it. We waste several hours and live in pain.

Worry

Marketers and other emerging professions are reaping profit from our worries.

  • Do Yoga for a stress-free day.
  • Avoid sugar or get diabetes.
  • Eating meat causes heart disease.
  • Gym every day to fight obesity.
  • Eating tobacco causes cancer.

These signals and messages receive more attention. Psychologists cite that worry trumps over sex in seeking our brain’s attention.

Jeff Bezos says: your margin is my profit. I would say, your worry is revenue for others.

We pick calls or use an app to avoid our worry. Always be on email is a result of losing a potential customer or meeting invite from a subordinate.

What is the cure for our worry?
Limiting smartphone usage and being more rational in life can help us.

Transparency

Transparency seems to be the least regarded virtue in the startup ecosystem. Everyone stakeholder talks about its positive while forgetting to apply it.

Founders will not tell the team about the real state of fundraising or money in the bank. An investor will never tell you he is not interested in you anymore. An employee planning to quit will just quit.

When not being transparent has so many negatives, what is the reason behind not practicing it?