koolhead17
We all worry over unlimited issues. In the book “Driven to distraction at work”, the author suggests that one should share his worries. He/She should talk/call someone. Meet people over coffee and share the trouble.
When you connect with your dear ones, share your pain, you will feel less vulnerable and more powerful. This will not change anything but enhance the ability in dealing with the situation. You will feel better and powerful.
I like this advice, there is no harm in trying.
We want this, we want that. The quest of wanting continues till we land in our death bed.
Can we not let things happen in natural ways? I am not asking to stop pursuing. My request is to observe yourself more and be aware of our wanting.
Our mind is monkey mind. It is irrational, its craving continues until we die.
Busy is the best excuse for avoiding people or meetings. We create a shadow of priority on us. I have no idea if it is good or bad.
I know about a son who was so busy minting money that he never cared to inquire about his father’s health. One day his father died because of the stomach pain which was an ulcer.
I also know how one’s best friend turned alcoholic because of isolation is seclusion. All other friends were busy on sending him WhatsApp and facebook forwards. Nobody met him in real life or asked how he was doing.
Relationships define us. We cannot escape or hide from it. We have to be part of it.
I was reading the book The Truthful Art which is about data visualization. The author also cites some reference on how we humans behave and act.
He points 3 things:
1. We love recognizing patterns. We don’t like much randomness. That is what powers bias like gambler’s fallacy.
2. We love storytelling. Once we have recognized a pattern next comes building story around it. We will craft the story to match our need, situations.
3. We start confirming it. That is where confirmation bias kicks over.
We love this process and repeat it everywhere. Smart folks like Charlie Munger and Ray Dalio has spoken in length about this behavior of ours. They advise for mental models, principles, and checklists.
In a chaotic and hyper-connected world, how much time do we have for making a response?
Very Less.
It is so easy to get mad at watchman for taking time in opening door.
It is easy to get angry at the delivery boy for calling up few times for address confirmation.
It is easy to get hyper at cook for adding extra salt by mistake.
It takes an effort to know the story of the watchman, who has traveled 1000 kilometers away from his hometown because he had no opportunity there.
It takes rationality to realize that the delivery boy was born poor and his family could not afford his education. He is sole earner in his family.
It takes empathy to understand that cook’s daughter has been in a hospital for a few weeks, she needs money and can’t take off from the job.
This world is inverted, one side we have everything in abundance. This side craves for more. This side is unhappy.
The other side is just crawling, trying to take a day as it comes. The job security, education or medical care is distant dreams. Who cares for the broken dreams of this side?
What is the point of being grumpy?
An ailing father is mad at his son because he could not join him for Thanksgiving.
An employee is grumpy with his co-founder for working extra hours.
An investor is unhappy with his portfolio for missing the quarter MAU.
A customer is grumpy for poor vendor because he is not giving timelines of the project delivery.
Why don’t we humans be little rational? Don’t we know our time in this life is limited? We have to live in harmony, peace.
Every problem has a solution. But being grumpy, mad or egomaniac will make things even worst.
Why are we letting our insecurity and weakness effect environment around us?
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca
I was reading this behavioral economics paper [PDF] On product customization and customers willing.
It cites how our bias plays its role (endowment effect, IKEA effect) and why credit card companies, E-commerce giants stress on personalized care and recommendation. Why we end up paying more for the customized coffee mug and feel worse if it gets broken.
Three important points:
1. Our willingness to pay more on a customized product depends on the cost.
2. Our earning defines our willingness to pay for customization.
3. We decide on customization in accordance with social trends.
An assumption can make us sick. It fosters our brain’s ability to switch things in our or against our favor.
Love, hate, like, dislike all these are made up in our brain. Our bias, experience plays an equal role.
The monkey mind will always have its fight mode open as are our assumptions.
* My bf/gf is cheating on me.
* My manager dislikes my work.
* My employees are not motivated enough.
* My parents don’t care about me.
I keep hearing these. Without a proper investigation, we assume it. We waste several hours and live in pain.